I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
