I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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