I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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