Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Randomize
