dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize