guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
