I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs