Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
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I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it