Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
