In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
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You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
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In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.