Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.