my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
