Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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