I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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