Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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