oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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