I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize