So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
