You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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