Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.