She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.