my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.