So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.