I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
