the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
