At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
so much tequila, so little girl.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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