the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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