Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
