The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Randomize
