i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize