when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
