That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
