i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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