You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
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We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I think i got beer on your cat.
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