somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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