She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
