i don't like sucking hair
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
