If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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