i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
