I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
