When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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