I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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