So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
