im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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