The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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