If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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