Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize