piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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