You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
