How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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