it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
