I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
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I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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