the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
