I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
