Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize