were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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