I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
