Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
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