That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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