She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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