Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
