its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
