I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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