i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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