I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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