It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
