that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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