Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
