Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
