ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
